Get Smart about Dating

Dating isn’t always easy, but if you’re serious about having a fulfilling relationship then you need to get smart about dating. Developing a smart dating plan will help you approach a new relationship from a place of strength, with clear criteria for success.

The purpose of dating is to decide if you’re interested in pursuing a relationship. The problem is that a lot of people are not clear on what their criteria is. When I ask people what they are looking for in a partner, the typical responses include wanting somebody they can connect with, someone who understands them, who is good-looking, funny, has a good job and so on. But if we dig a little deeper, you’ll find there is a broad range of measures that are far more important when it comes to defining a fulfilling relationship.

Attraction and chemistry are a must, but if this is your only criteria you’re at risk of letting your emotions run away from you. You’ll be ready to jump straight into things without knowing some of the most vital details of all – their values.

Values are like glue; the essence that bonds you with your partner for the long-term, so finding out what his values are before you fall head over heels is a must. Your values are the emotions or experiences that are important to you; the ones you want to feel most. So you need to consider what the values are you want to experience after the honeymoon is over.

Sit down and make a list of your 10 most important values, particularly the ones you want to experience in a relationship. Do you enjoy freedom, excitement, stability and loyalty? Or perhaps growth and gratitude are essential priorities in your life.

This is not to say that a loving relationship can’t thrive with different values. The point is to know what values are not so important to you and what values are deal breakers.

What is your number one value? It might sound harder than you think to elicit these types of values; some women can be more worried about scaring a potential partner off than they are about actually knowing if he’s a match.

Hobbies can also be a window into what others value most. On the flip side, deal breakers are also important. If you’re already emotionally invested and are suddenly confronted by a red flag, it’s much harder to make smart decisions.

3 Things You Should Never Say To a Woman on a First Date

1. Shower her with compliments

We men are visual creatures and there’s nothing we enjoy more than laying our eyes on the alluring curves of a beautiful woman. But even if your date is drop dead gorgeous, showering her with compliments isn’t the way to win her over.

As an attractive woman, you will constantly get attention from men who put you on a pedestal because of your looks. Thinking of telling your date she has beautiful eyes? 2. Ask for her approval

It’s no secret that both men and women get nervous on a first date. Men, however, tend to have the urge to impress a woman they just met which causes them to make a very common mistake. They ask for the woman’s approval.

“How do you like me so far?” is a phrase you’ll often hear insecure men whisper to their date midway through the evening. Seeking approval from a woman on a first date is the epitome of insecurity. It communicates zero confidence and tells the woman that you’ve already chosen her, now it’s just a matter if she will choose you.

This makes the date more playful and increases sexual tension which leads to attraction.

2. Put the ball in her court

Imagine you’ve been texting a woman for a week and you’ve asked her out on three different occasions. Each time, she turned you down giving you some excuse. Essentially you’ve put the ball in her court. You throw her the ball and ask her to throw it back. For instance, instead of saying “Hey, do you want to go out Saturday night?” say “Hey, I’m going to the museum Thursday night to check out the new exhibit. If you’d like to join me, text I by tomorrow night and I may let you come, depending on how cute you ask me.”

The first example has the guy chasing the girl because he’s putting the decision to go out entirely on her. But the second example turns things around so that the guy encourages the girl to chase him. He’s a confident, intelligent guy who’s got his life together and couldn’t care less whether a woman accompanies him or not. Which guy would you rather be?

3. Ask her to be the man

Another big mistake men make on a first date is asking the woman where she wants to go or what she wants to do. Men have sound intentions when they do this as they are trying to ensure the woman has a good time. But doing so essentially puts the role of the man, i.e., the leader on the woman’s shoulders.

If you take away just one thing from this article, make sure it’s this: “All women want to be led.” This goes double for a first date. You don’t have to lead them on a death defying adventure either, just make it something fun that she’s never done before. Remember, you are leading her, not vice versa.

Finally, when you’re on a first date with a woman, never give her all your power. The points I described above are all tied into your personal power as a man.

Think About Before You Date Someone Older

The idea of dating someone older might turn some on and for others they wouldn’t even entertain the thought. You may be the type of person who is open to many possibilities and because of that carefree, nonchalant attitude, it may work for or against you depending on the kind of older person you choose to date. For purposes of this article we are referring to someone in his or her late 40s plus dating someone at least 10-15 years younger.

Some older people are very much set in their ways and are simply not open to running free and wild around the world despite having many of the assets to do just that. For some, they feel content with life if nothing more than watching television, going shopping on occasion, and traveling maybe once or twice a year. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? There are those middle-aged people who actually seek out a younger person to date because they can’t seem to find someone their own age who can keep up with their pace. They may be the kind of mature people who enjoy going to concerts, taking spontaneous trips, and participating in a unique and/or fun hobby that most people their own age may find dangerous, strange or meaningless.

Despite the old cliché, “Age isn’t nothing but a number…” the reality is that an age difference can be an issue for someone in this kind of dating relationship especially when one or both of you suddenly awake to life’s harsh realities like: a health condition, financial issues, death of loved ones, the graduation of a child and the birth of a newborn, adult sons and daughters in dilemmas, and so on. These impactful events in one’s life can make or break a relationship–no matter the age, but for the person dating older, he or she will have to prepare his or herself for possible elimination particularly if the following may be happening to an older man or woman such as: a midlife crisis, rebounding from a past relationship, still in love with an ex, and/or listening to critical adult sons and/or daughters objecting to “mom/dad’s relationship with that man/woman whose like my age!”

There are many things one, who chooses to date older, must look out for just like others considering on dating someone such as: unresolved past issues with an ex, challenges with relatives, money problems, etc. However, for the person who thinks that age has no bearing on the relationship, he or she might be delusional. Two people born from different time periods have different views about life, develop at different paces, and may even have different needs for sleeping, eating, and drinking.
If you are younger and considering on dating a mature person exclusively, you will want to ask yourself the following questions. These thought-provoking questions may help you better understand yourself and what you hope to achieve by dating someone older as well as what might you offer to the relationship.

A young person who is use to dating very attractive and youthful women or men is going to see things on the body of an older man or woman that isn’t so appealing especially if the mature person doesn’t exercise. So if you are easily turned off when it comes to what someone looks like under his or her clothes, you may have a hard time quieting that voice inside that says, “Honestly, he is old…she really isn’t that nice-looking…those age marks look awful…I hope I don’t get all those wrinkles when I get older! I wish he would dye his hair! It doesn’t matter how many gifts a mature person may shower on you, at some point you are going to have to reason, “Do I really find this man or woman attractive enough to keep being intimate with him or her? What kind of relationship have you had with your own parents over the years?

No young person likes to be reminded about the relationship they have had or lack with their parents. However, the reality is that many people date someone older because they wish to have something they didn’t have with that first lady or man in their life-mom and dad. The troubled relationship that one has with his or her parents might have something to do with why he or she would want to date someone who may be about mom or dad’s age. Whatever was absent from your relationship with dad or mom, you might subconsciously seek it with someone older if you still have unresolved past issues. Maybe dad wasn’t there for you, but this older man who is spending time with you seems to fill the void. Maybe mom was often too busy to pay attention to you; meanwhile you had a sexual experience (while a boy) with an older woman. The idea of dating an older woman who might be willing to shower a young man with gifts might make him reason that all is well despite having mixed feelings about his childhood sexual experiences. Whatever happened in years past, maybe catching up with the young man in this kind of relationship? Therefore, he might desire to date someone more mature. Now of course, there are those young men who have no childhood issues they just enjoy dating all sorts of women-old and young.

Now the truth is that most young people need some kind of assistance whether help with college, cost of living, a car note, etc. So if you are in dire need yourself, what exactly can you provide an older person besides sex and companionship? Have you really experienced enough in life to hold a genuine, thought-provoking conversation? Maybe you can aid the older person in business or help with household chores. As long as you can give something meaningful to the relationship on a consistent basis, who knows, your relationship might stand a chance.

How might you benefit from dating this person?

We live in a world where no one gets something for nothing, so let’s say you have a lot to offer from help with finances to cleaning the toilet, what can the mature person give you? Now some will say, “Their life experiences, maybe a bit of wisdom.” That sounds good. But do you know how many older people in this world simply aren’t wise. Observe the life of the mature person you are interested in dating. Does he or she have good spending habits? Can he or she invest money well? What kind of relationship does this person have with the ex, a possible mother or father of children from a previous relationship? What do you find missing in your own life?

Most young people have a lot of time to make mistakes and learn from them; however, the older you get the more you will stop trying things out and testing situations. You’ve heard the old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat,” and the older you get the less you want to make life-changing mistakes.

Older people want to get things right by the time the reach their golden years, since they spent a lot of their youthful years messing up. Therefore, if there is something in your own life that you still desire and it will most likely impact any intimate relationship you might have, reconsider dating someone older. Live your life now, not later! When do you hope to have a committed relationship with this person?

This is a crucial question you will want to ask yourself before you start dating any older person exclusively. Being in a committed relationship should always be something you want from a partner. With all the disease, cheating, lying, and more that goes on in the dating arena, you don’t want to have to find out the hard way that your youth has been all spent up waiting on someone who never thought you were important and/or mature enough to make his or her life-time partner.

Now that you have six points to consider, do think wisely before you start dating someone half your age or old enough to be your parent. Older people don’t look at dating as a game or choose partners just for the fun of it. Of course, there are those who do play mind games and you will want to cut those types out of your life the moment you suspect you are being played.

As a young person dating older, you will want to know what you are getting yourself into before good times take an ugly turn. Be sure to communicate your wants and listen carefully to what is expected of you when dating a mature person.

Soul mates – Why This Belief Will Keep You Single

It is also a belief that will keep you single. Despite how romantic the idea of a soul mate may seem, it is also very limiting. If you are waiting to meet the supposedly one person in the entire world who is perfect for you, you run the risk of passing over real human beings who could possibly be a great match.

The problem with adhering to a rigid set of dating guidelines is we are all human, and cannot perfectly match a laundry list of characteristics. Instead, a better way is to look for potential partners who are compatible in most of the important ways that matter to you.

Consider this, what if your ideal mate is compassionate and funny, but isn’t 6’2?” What if she is great with the kids, but has brown hair? There are more than enough people available who would make a fantastic partner, but you need to abandon the unrealistic, romantic myth of a single soul mate for every person.

Yes, you most definitely should, but keep in mind imperfection is part of the package of being human. Allow yourself to think outside of your box. Remember there are so many souls who are looking for a great partner. As long as the person possesses the core traits you are looking for, open yourself to new possibilities. Your next, great relationship may be closer than you think.

Online Dating Guide for Men and How They Can Be Successful

In online dating you can know someone through their profiles and later on if you are confident enough you can start chatting with them and then finally ask them out on an actual date.

Now here are a few tips to help you with dating the right women:

· The first task is to choose the right dating service website. Each website specializes in different aspects of dating. For instance, some are for Asians, where you can date Asian ladies. Pick the one that fits you and verify its reliability from your friends and family. There are some websites which are filled with fake, erotic profiles but they are just a waste of time.

Exactly like real life you should not rush with things in online dating too. You should first build up a connection through chatting online and then ask out for a date.

· Do not trust the person totally. So put a decent picture of yours and update the profile with genuine information.

How to be Successful with Online Dating:

Here are some tips on how to succeed with this whole online dating experience.

· For dating women show your best side through your profile. In your profile talk about your qualities and interesting hobbies and passions. Your profile should send a positive vibe and be upbeat.

· While making contact with someone, you should keep things real but stay positive at the same time. While dating a woman you have keep in mind not to be a question bank.

Women find guys rushing to be cheesy and try to avoid them instead. Girls like guys who go with the right pace. First chat with her for quite some times online, and then when you find her interested too, ask for her phone number, then talk through phone regularly and then finally decide to go a real offline date.

· Dress according to the place where you are taking the girl out for the first date. Everyone likes good looks and girls like taking pride in their partner’s looks. This is one of the keys to dating women successfully.

· Be simple and confident on your first date. Do not plan on spending the whole day out, and instead plan something short and simple. For example, you guys can meet over a cup of coffee at some cafe so that you guys can part ways if things do not work out, and if things seem good then you can think of going for a movie.

· Keep a check on your personal hygiene. Females have a thing of knowing a gentleman through their shoes.

· Do not expect sex on the very first date. If you looking for the girl of your dreams, the sexiest thing is to be patient. This is one way to succeed in dating a woman.

Just keep these basic tips in mind and see how it works magic in your online dating.

Effective Kissing Tips That Can Be Used By Anyone

Kissing is an amazing art that was invented by the French and it has been adopted by so many countries as a medium of expressing affection and care to a loved one. I find this topic very interesting and would like to share some kissing tips with you to help you strengthen your relationship.

What would you do if you are seated few meters away from your loved one and you are in the kissing mood but your kissing book is not with you at the location, what exactly would you do?

1. Would you give up and simply pretend like you are not ready to kiss her?

3. Would you keep her waiting while you go for the book?

This are some of the options or thoughts that might flow through your mind, but remember that any decision made according to this thoughts has the potential of creating the wrong idea in your loved one’s head and can be to your detriment. Take your mind away from every instructional guide, just flow with the rhythm of the moment.

Steps for Successful Kissing

1. Fresh Breath: If you’ve never kissed before and you are expecting one soon, one of the things that you must always maintain is fresh breath as you might never be sure where it will happen. Fresh breath is a very important factor to having an enjoyable kiss. If your breath is not fresh at the point where you about to have a kiss, your partner is most likely to withdraw prematurely. So ensure that you brush always and have breath fresheners at all times.

2. Start with a regular kiss: be patient, never find yourself rushing. Simply start with a regular kiss with both of your lips closed. Always close your eyes too as this will increase the responsiveness of your partner and promotes comfort between both of you. Opening your eyes is not a good thing to do during a kiss as your partner might feel ashamed and lose interest in the process.

3. Kiss her rightly: The way you start a kiss is very important to how far and how well you and your partner get to the next level, you know what I mean. A good kiss is always memorable, in order to make yours so, you must learn to place your lips and tongue properly. Randomly switch from the top lip to the lower lip, make sure you kiss with passion in the process as a kiss without passion and soul is just like every other kiss that can be forgotten.

4. Relax: this is one of the most important kissing tips and should therefore be taking seriously. Every kissing moment is supposed to be enjoyable and to achieve this, you need to be relaxed.